Adulthood

looks like being an adult is all about responsibility and worries...


To your information i have been employed by an international audit firm recently and i really am struggling to blend in. Actually it is not like i have been working here for years and my colleagues are avoiding or ignoring or discriminating me, IT IS MY 5TH DAY OF WORK. I guess i am just being too sensitive and selfconcious about my way of communicating with people. It is not brand new feeling for me actually, i have always felt awkward when talking to strangers and opposite sex.


And where exactly all this awkwardness of mine is coming from? It has always been too much respect and appropriateness. My upbringing is almost same as everychildren on earth passing kindergarden, junior, high school. However my relationship with my dad is probably less of dad and daughter relationship. I am not too close with my mom either. My only genuine, real close relationship is mith my younger sister. And we are everything to each other. Guess the only person i truly love is my sister sofar, its not like i will stop loving her, i merely hoping for another heartfelt love from another half of mine who is still wandering somewhere hopefully on this planet :D. I can be by myself with my baby sis without worry or hesitation. And my wish is to be like that when i talk to strangers, friends or colleagues. AM I ASKING TOO MUCH? IDK....


Or maybe i should accept my AWKWARDNESS and make peace with myself....
Or try something like dance or martial art to expose my inner craziness....
Or meet sooooooooo many people until i no longer have issue with that.....
Or having sex.....no that is not happenning in zillion years...unless i hire manslut hha

 Okey lets end here


to be continued......

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